Crackperia
by Liana Banda
Summary: This a crack filled version of my Operation: Code Vesperia! It will follow the Operation story but keep it's insanity plus have crossovers from just about everywhere, but a lot of Mabi references and appearances of NPCs, so prepare your brain for this if you can XD *bows* I deeply apologize for the brain farts you'll have. Rating it M for language and suggestive themes at times.
1. Introductory Memes

OMG I'M GONNA LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH XD LOLZ BASICALLY EVERYONE IS OOC AND STUFF WILL HAPPEN…..what kinds of stuff….idk XD LOLZ I got into this idea for a crack version after I did a meme my friend found and she tagged me to do, after I did them the crack plot that followed was too fun to pass up XD but to get the gist of the OOCness this is the meme's mentioned that I did XD LOLZ

(note: I don't hate Estelle, I just prefer her with Rita and not Flynn or Yuri due to her indecisiveness. I have played the game LOADS of times on XBOX and even the PS3 version, and trust me at first I was like "Aww so cute, she has like a crush on this Flynn guy -^-^-" later as the game progressed on, ":S huh? She's got a crush on Yuri now? What happened to Flynn this and Flynn that? She like dropped him like a Hot Potato"...game goes on "*raging with my friend who loves Flynn while I love Yuri* Ok...she's like gonna be a two timing b*tch! I like that she's so dang cute and polite but my gosh DX pick one honey!" game goes on, hears her tell the story of Brave Vesperia, "Ok, she's officially a sister character to Yuri with a bit of a crush on Flynn -.-''' *insert my friend raging on how she ain't having Flynn cause she's wishy washy* ok no crush on Flynn, I'mma throw her with Rita, that might be a good ship :3" story goes on, "OMG Ristelle is awesome :3" before last battle scene with Yuri, "...Honey you lucky I ain't there, I'd slap you silly. Dat Rita and Judith though...Love triangle gonna happen here between Judy/Rita/Estelle XD.")

* * *

 **MEME #1**

Random meme time~  
Rules:  
1\. Go to this website ( w w w).random (dot org)/ lists/

2\. Pick 15 characters from any fandom or whatever you're into.  
3\. Tag people.  
4\. Have fun!

 **1) Mom/Dad: Mikleo.**  
Liana: Kinda messed up in a way, but I can see him being a mother hen :T  
Mikleo: Oi! At least refer to me as the father! And why do I have to be your father anyway?!  
Liana: Ah you're fun to mess with, I see why Edna does it alot XD  
 **2) Your sibling: Ludger Will Kresnik**  
Liana: o.o  
Ludger: o.o  
Sorey: Neh Mikleo, why aren't they talking? And what's that clock thing rotating around em?  
Mikleo: They cannot speak until the player selects an absolute choice.  
Sorey: o.o ok...  
 **3) Your Grandma/Grandpa: Oga Tatsumi.**  
Oga: HOLD IT! HOLD IT! HOLD IT! I HAVE ENOUGH WITH BABY BEEL! I DON'T NEED ANYMORE DUMB SH*TS ON ME!  
Beel: DAH!  
Mikleo: -x- no matter how you look at it, he's not my father…..  
Liana: WHO YOU CALLIN A DUMB SHIT YOU BI*** A** P**** OGA! *proceeds to mini fight with Oga*  
 **4) Haunts you: Eizen (TOB).**  
Liana: Eizen T^T I love you so much, I hope Sorey saves you in the season 2 anime T-T now stop floating over my computer and let me sleep.  
Eizen: ...not happening...  
 **5) Your boyfriend/girlfriend: Luke Fon Fabre.  
** Luke (Long hair): HUH?! WHO"D WANNA DATE THIS UGLY PEASANT?!

Kairi: *deflates in corner*  
Liana: O.e*** WHO'D WANNA DATE YOUR SORRY A** YOU D***?!  
Luke (LH): WHAT YOU SAY YOU COW?!  
Liana: COW?!  
Luke (LH): YEAH! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR SAGGIN' TITS YOU COW!  
Liana: O.e******* *swings sword and accidentally cuts his hair* Oh SH*T!  
Luke (short hair): Huh? What's happening? Why do you have a sword out :S?  
Liana: Cause you called me a cow with saggin tits o.e****  
Luke (SH): Ah sorry. I apologize, your very beautiful and your breast are great *smiles* huh why is Kairi sad?

Liana: You landed a harsh insult….

Luke (SH): I'm so sorry Kairi! *proceeds to try apologizing to Kairi*  
Liana:...give him back the long hair so I can kill him, I can't when he's being so dang polite /****  
 **6) Your ex: Zaveid.  
** Kairi: O.O Was I drunk? (don't get me wrong Zaveid si awesome, just not as a boyfriend or even potential boyfriend)  
Zaveid: Yep, but the best 7 minutes of my life ;D  
Kairi: ...*pokes endlessly/mercilessly with Edna's umbrella*  
Zaveid: ow! Hey! C'mon stop that! We didn't-! OW! Stop! Ow ow! *running as Kairi chases him poking him*  
 **7) Your best friend: Raven.**  
Liana: :D HECK YAH! YOU SHALL NEVER KNOW THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS RAVEN XD  
Raven: I am? I mean yeah I am :):)  
 **8) Proposed to you: Flynn Scifo.**  
Kairi: O.O eh?  
Flynn: *bursts through doors with flowers in hand and a well-tailored suit* I've come to ask once more *kneels* would you please do me the greatest honor of being my wife? *puppy eye attack*  
Kairi: *blushes like mad* GAH Flynn I love you, but sorry no (your too traditional and formal much) / I already told you my heart is set on…someone else, now please go ask Caryn!  
Flynn: :  
 **9) Your boss: Zelos Wilder.**  
Kairi: Is...is this the real life...is this just fantasy...caught in a landslide...  
Zelos: Hahaha get back to reality and work, I can't pay you for not doing your job honey~ Now I'd like my tea please, and bring it up to my office with a 1000$ smile ;D~  
Kairi: ...Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me...*seriously broken*  
 **10) The random person you met at the bar: Lloyd Irving.  
** Liana: :D:D CHUG THAT CHOCOLATE MILK LLOYD! CHUG IT!  
Lloyd: YEAH! I'LL DO IT UPSIDE DOWN TOO :D:D THEN I'LL CARVE A WOODEN BEAR OUT OF MY CHAIR!  
Liana: WAI!~~~~~~ :D:D  
 **11) Your rival: Milla Maxwell.**  
Liana:...  
Milla: May I ask why you are staring so intensely at my chest?  
Liana: Damn you and your Bazongas Maxwell XP I shall have a more perfect body MAXWELL YOU SHALL SEE! *runs away*  
Milla: Hmmm...odd human behavior for an odd human :)  
 **12) Gave you your first kiss: Jade Curtis.**  
Liana: *steaming in a corner*  
Jade: Oya~ Did you like it that much? *pushes up glasses* would you prefer another one? *glary glass smile*  
Liana: O/O N-N-N-NO MORE! (My heart wont take it X/X)  
 **13) Drunk and singing karaoke with: Sorey!**  
Liana: X3 I CAN'T SING BUT WHO CARES IT'S SOREY! *grabs mic and slumps on Sorey and puts mic between us so we can sing...or attempt to sing the words on the screen to whatever song it is that's playing, idk we're too drunk to even hear words properly XD*  
 **14) Played 7 minutes of heaven with: Jude Mathis.**  
Jude:.../  
Liana:.../ I promise I won't tell Milla. *crosses fingers behind back* (hehehe don't forget she's the rival XD)  
Jude: Thanks *smile damage 1000x*  
Liana:...(damn you Jude, foiling my plans with your dang smile attack XP)  
 **15) Gave you your favorite dessert: Yuri Lowell.**  
Kairi: ...  
Yuri: Huh? Aren't you going to eat it? I worked hard to make it you know. And it's your favorite. *sees her ears are red**smirks* I put alot of love into it, so you better eat every last crumb.  
Kairi:...*faints with a red steaming face* (damn you and your sexiness Yuri Lowell, erowell / )

TAG: Don't got people I can think of to tag, nor do I like it, just try at your own risk XD

* * *

 **Meme #2**

Random meme time~  
Rules:  
1\. Go to this website ( w w w).random (dot org)/ lists/

2\. Pick characters from any fandom or whatever you're into.  
3\. Tag people.  
4\. Have fun!

 **1) The husband/groom: Duke Pantarei**  
Kairi: o.o uhhhhhh why am I here?  
Duke: Is it not obvious? This is a formal ceremony to join 2 people in holy matrimony. Also, the animals seem to like you alot so I shall unify with you.  
Kairi: ;w; Yuri~ Save me...  
 **2) The guy who crashed your wedding: Raven**  
Raven: Hold it right there! Such a young cute girl shouldn't marry an old guy like him *points at groom* when she can have Raven the Great all for herself :D:D  
Kairi:...thank you old man for trying to save me ^^''  
Raven: *anime fall over**deflates* Old man...Old Raven isn't that old...  
 **3) The one who started a fire: Zaveid**  
Zaveid: HELL YEAH!  
Kairi: *hugs Zaveid* OMG THANK YOU X3  
Zaveid: Hey sweetie ;D don't get clingy~  
Kairi: :P:P In your dreams Zaveid, in your dreams XD  
 **4) The cute one: Jade Curtis**  
Jade: The cute one am I? *picks up glasses that glint in the light*  
Liana: *falls onto hands and knees**head on floor in perfect grovel technique* GOMEN NASAI!~~~~ DX  
 **5) The badass: Sorey**  
Liana: Well he has proven he can get angry in the anime so yep :3  
 **6) The secret lover: Luke Fon Fabre**  
Kairi: *squeaks* WHY ME?!  
Luke (Short hair): But I'm your boyfriend since the last meme isn't it obvious I would be your secret lover too?  
Kairi:...why do you love me I don't know T_T

 **7) The Jealous/Yandere One: Estelle**

Kairi:…ummmmm anything the matter?

Estelle:…..*stares at Kairi**smiles sickeningly innocent* Find Happiness with Duke Forever Please ^_^ I'll gladly look after Yuri and Flynn in your place.

Kairi: *getting pissed off**smiles innocently as well* Oh why don't worry about it, this wedding isn't real and neither is any illusion of you being with Yuri.

Caryn: *glares* Or with Flynn either you little pink skank.

Estelle: *glaring contest with all 3*

Liana: Wow, *eating popcorn* this is better than anything on TV so far :D!

(Oh come on that was too perfect considering another anime role her Seiyuu is in! IS THIS GENERATOR PSYCHIC?! XD LOLZ)  
 **8) The one who ate the cake: Yuri Lowell**  
Yuri: That was pretty good though not as sweet as I would have liked, congrats.  
Kairi: Yuri ;w;...stop stuffing your face and save me ToT  
 **9) The marriage officiant: Van Grants**  
Liana: I somehow found that fitting o.o;;;  
 **10) The piano player: Alexei Dinoa**  
Alexei:...why am I playing this stupid contraption? I should be implementing my plot to kidnap you and marry you myself in Baction shrine.  
Kairi: O.O thank you for that ahead of time...*hides under a table*  
 **11) The drunk one: Flynn Scifo**  
Flynn: *hic**sniffle* B-But...I proposed to you first *hic* I'm suppose to murry you *sniffle* I even proposed twice! *hic**slumps on shoulder* Kairi just pleaze mayorry me~  
Kairi: Uhmmmmm...gomen Flynn, I still love someone else despite his obliviousness to my feelings ^^''''  
Flynn: Kairi~~~~ *hic* ToT But I loved you first *hic*

Kairi: Seriously Caryn-san is already glaring so please stop, you're drunk ^^''' *is being very hard glared at by Caryn right now*

* * *

Disclaimer please.

Kairi: *sigh* Liana doesn't own any Tales series or their characters, Caryn, or Justin, she only owns writing this fic, herself, and me sadly….good enough?

I guess XD Now lets get this gig rolling lolz


	2. 1: IT'S ALL YURI'S FAULT! (Ch 1-2)

This is a parody, I only own myself, Kairi, and this fic, GO READ OPERATION: CODE VESPERIA!

* * *

"HI SWEETIE, I GOTTA GO TAKE YOUR MOM TO AN APPOINTMENT, BE A GOOD GIRL LOVE YOU BAI!" That was my dad waking me up at 5 in the frickin' morning to just say that….who gives a damn, back to bed!

Time skip- 1 p.m.

Yuri Alarm Clock: WAKE YOUR ASS UP! REPEDE WILL PISS ALL OVER YOUR WAFFLES IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUTTA BED NAO!

Wow, sounds like the real deal, only not as sarcastic….MAGIC TRANSFORMATION MUSIC START! *glamourous night gown activated**fluffy hair mode on*

*phone Rings* Hey Justin, wanna come over to play Vesperia?

Justin: Fuck you.

Yay!

*Sponge Bob narrator voice* 17 minutes later.

Justin: I was promised cake if I came, where's my cake?

It was obviously a lie, how stupid can you get?

Caroline: *GLaDOS voice* The cake is a lie. You monster.

Justin: I hate my life.

I hate your life too.

FAST FORWARD TO VESPERIA CAUSE NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!

*Digimon Theme plays as we fall through the rift**lands on ground* Where the FUCK IS MY AGUMON?!

Kairi: I dunno.

Who asked you?

Yuri: Would you two care to explain who you are?

I KNEW IT!

Yuri: Knew what?

WE'RE HERE CAUSE IT'S YOUR PENIS'S FAULT!

Yuri: WHAT?!

TROLLVEN SAID SO! YOUR PENIS IS THE KEY TO UNIVERSAL TIME TRAVEL YURI FUCKING LOWELL! YOU WERE BANGING FLYNN EARLIER WEREN'T YOU?!

Yuri: …..What is she taking?

Kairi: I don't know but I want some….(We know you mean that DICK )

Yuri: Me too.

Raven: Me three!

Alexei: *throws open the door* ME FOUR!

EVERYONE WANTS THAT YURI DICK EVEN YURI HIMSELF! WELL GUESS WHAT, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, BECAUSE IT TIME TRAVELED TO ANOTHER DIMENSION AFTER HE BONED FLYNN! *points to the front of Yuri's pants which are flatter than Rita's boobs* THE RIOT HORN IS GONE!

Alexei: I don't need you! *frees Raven* COME! WE SHALL FIND THE SECRET TO THE LOCATION AND AQUIRE IT TOGETHER! *they run away with Raven dropping the key under the door accidentally in his scramble to chase his boyfriend*

GASP SPOILERS!

Yuri: Wow…well that worked…

Kairi: Mhm…

NOW LET'S GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE AND GO TO NARNIA!

Kairi: YAY :D

AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT GET ME SOME BETTER CLOTHES!

Kairi: Yeah those are painful to look at…

Yuri: *sweat dropped because he's the only damn sane person in this whole damn fic*

* * *

TO those who don't get the Penis part, go read trollven's Tales of Vesperia: Flynn is a bitch fan fiction, it is GOLD!


	3. 2: Go away Pink Bitch, U Drunk (Ch 3-4)

Yeah gonna get into a habit of doing a chapter for this after every 2-3 chapters :D

Disclaimer: I Don't own Vesperia, Caryn, or Justin, that is all!

Lost? BOO HOO, JUST READ OPERATION: CODE VESPERIA!

* * *

Dooo dooo dooo….dooo dooo dooo, nah, nah, nah, nah…..nah nah nah!

Yuri: What the hell are you singing?

Fuck if I know.

Kairi: LOOK!

OMG IT'S THE PINK WHORE!

Yuri: Pink what?

HIDE AND YOU SHALL LEARN! *drags Yuri to wall*

Knight A: *All horny and shet* OMG WHY WONT YOU FINISH GIVING ME A DAMN BLOW JOB?!

Knight B: YEAH YOU LITTLE SLUT!

PINK BITCH: (BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A DAMN ABOUT HER REAL NAME OR THAT SHE DON'T HAVE A NAME TO START WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HER UNTIL AFTER ZAGI! WHAT'S WITH THAT SHIT!) *Hair flip* Because youz can't stop cumming every like 5 seconds, and you can't get it up period!

Knight A: I can last more than 5 seconds!

Knight B: And I too can gets it up!

Pink Bitch: Like, whatever, I'mma go find Flynn, he's probably a better fuck than you twos anyways!

SEE! PINK WHORE LIKE I SAID!

Yuri:….That explains so much…

Pink Bitch: OMG! Mmm, I didn't see you there, I apologize for my abrupt display.

….LET'S JUST GO GET SOME FOOD I'M STARVING…OH AND FYI BITCH! HE'S BONING FLYNN YOU GOT NO CHANCE IN HELL!

Kairi: Why is everything you say in caps?

CAUSE IT IS.

Yuri: Umm what about the knights?

THEY ARE UNIMPORTANT SIDE CHARACTERS THAT SHALL FADE AWAY FROM EXISTENCE ONCE WE LEAVE THIS ROOM! NOW COME ON BITCH! TO THE FOOD! *drags Yuri*

Knights A&B: NOOOOOOOOO~!

Pink Bitch: WAIT! Where are you taking that sexy piece of- I mean, where are you taking him?

*squeezes Yuri's head in mah bewbs* THIS MAN MEAT HERE IS OUR MAN BITCH AND SERVANT! BE GONE YOU I-PAID-FOR-THESE-BOOBS SLUT! MY TRIPLE D's WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR WANTING TO BANG HIS BOYFRIEND!

Yuri: Mmrpf! Flynn is not Mrrrfff! My boyfriend!

Pink Bitch: I didn't pay for these *silence* much. But if he knows Flynn perhaps he can take me to him. I'm following along.

SORRY TO SHATTER YOUR WET DREAMS TONIGHT, BUT HE HAS NO PENIS ANYMORE! HE LOST IT AFTER BANGING FLYNN!

Pink Bitch: OMFHGJBCW NO! I mean, I shall help you in your quest to retrieve it!

Yuri: What is going on? I don't even get it anymore?

You never will Lowell.

Kairi: OMG NO MORE CAPS!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

* * *

NOM NOM NOM CURRY IS GONE NOW ONTO ZAGI!

Yuri: Onto who?

*MAGICAL WARPFIELD TO FLYNN'S ROOM*

Pink Bitch: *rolling on Flynn's bed inhaling his sheets and pillow**orgasming*

Yuri:….I give up….nothing is sacred anymore.

Zagi: *breaks door* I'm here to end your life, Flynn Sci-AH! OMG!

Yuri: What?

Zagi: You're gorgeous! MARRY ME! MARRY ME FLYNN SCIFO MARRY ME DAMMIT!

Yuri: WHOA WAIT I AM NOT FLYNN!

Zagi: MARRY ME YOU SEXY THANG YOU! I WANT ALL YOUR BABIES!

Yuri: You're male, you can't even…..…..You two are the masterminds, mind helping?...

Kairi: *gives Zagi a tablet, don't question where it came from, this is a crack, nothing is logical, sacred, or real* You can marry him here on this website.

Zagi: AHAHAHA! I SHALL MARRY YOU AND WE SHALL BE TOGETHER FOREVER FLYNN SCIFO! FOREVER YOU HEAR ME! FOREVER ASGFSDHSGDSHGDJSD! *runs out room shouting in German and Jamaican*

Yuri:…..I'm not really married to him, right?

WHO KNOWS

Yuri:…

Kairi: Nah it was just some fan site that lets you just click on characters you want to marry and make banners and fake certificates to post on websites.

Yuri: Thank you so much, you are the light at the end of the tunnel so far.

Pink Bitch: *In complete ecstasy with Flynn's pillow*

…LET'S JUST LEAVE THE PINK BITCH…

Kairi: Seconded.

Yuri: Third…..

* * *

*Currently a ratwigles orgy going on* SEXY DUNGEON SEWER PLACE~

Yuri:….I don't need to see this….

Kairi: MY EYES! MY EYES! MY BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS VIRGIN EYES!

Pink Bitch: Too bad their not bigger or I'd join in. I mean, that wasn't very nice of you to leave me behind. My name's Estellise, but no one can say it so the game calls me Estelle, pleased to meet you.

Yuri: Game what?

NOTHING TO CONCERN YOURSELF WITH! OH LOOK THE EXIT! LET'S GET GOING! ME AND KAIRI WILL SMOTHER YOU IN OUR BREASTS LATER IF YOU BE A GOOD BOY~

Yuri: …..What the F-

*Animation budget ran out*

* * *

I'm having way too much fun with these lolz XD hope there are no offended people, if you are…..welcome to the internet :D

OMFHGJBCW= Oh My Fucking Holy God Jesus Buddha Christ Whatever


	4. 3: Dat Double Demon Fang Though (Ch 5-6)

Wheee got this one done. Still got a drabble or two to do unless I smash both together in one. Yup, thank you trollven for inspiring me to make this journey for Yuri's lost dick….plots may change though merherher~ But then who gives a damn…it's crack.

Disclaimer: I don't not own Vesperia, Justin, Caryn, NPCS, RANDOM ANIME PHRASES, and endorsement deals that may or may not be shown.

I do have permission to use Justin and Caryn though Ehehehe

I do own myself, Kairi, and this fic….cause none if it is entirely following Vesperia protocol and I wouldn't call this work as it is, gimme some soda/energy drinks/sugary foods/and spam Gigantic OTN on the laptop~!

* * *

*Opens sewer hatch* LET THERE BE LIGHT!

Estelle: *HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

Kairi: We're finally out of there…I thought I was going to die…

Now let us escape!

Kairi: No more caps?

I'm conservative.

Tweedles: Hold it right there Yuurii Looowell! We have orders to seize your ass! Surrender this instant!

Wow Yuri, everyone wants your Double Demon Fang now too.

Yuri: Don't call it that!

Yuri! Use rock throw!

Yuri: What?

JUST FUCKING DO IT! YOU CAN'T SLAP THEM WITH YOUR DICK ANYWAYS, NOW!

Yuri:….Fine *throws rock*

Tweedles: *bleeding like mad on floor* OH MAH GAWD WE'RE GONNA DIE!

It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! Now ESCAPE!

Sponge bob narrator: 5 hours later.

OMG THE RUN DOWN TO THE LOWER QUARTER IS FREAKING LONG!

Yuri: It is not, it took so long cause Estelle was too busy giving the tweedles and every guy on the way her number and you wouldn't stop taking selfies everywhere!

OMG HE KNOWS WHAT A SELFIE IS?!

Yuri: DAMN RIGHT I DO AND I'LL BREAK THE FOURTH WALL AS MUCH AS I WANT DAMMIT!

Hanks: Yuri, the fuck you do this time?

HE LOST HIS DICK AND BROKE THE FOURTH WALL!

Hanks: *bitch slaps Yuri* YOU BLASTED CROSSDRESSING MAN WHORE, I TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THIS!

Yuri: *rubs cheek* Ugh, I'll just keep my mouth shut.

Hank: So…got yourself a harem though? *eyebrow wiggle wiggle*

Estelle there doesn't count.

Estelle: *smiles evil* You seemed to make a mistake there, I do count you know, after all I am this games Heroine.

You're still not gonna bang Yuri or Flynn so stick with your Knights or let cobwebs grow down there even better.

Yuri: Damn, how'd it get from losing the Aque blastia to this?

You banged Flynn after wanting to do some plumbing, that's what.

Yuri: Listen! I did not fuck Flynn…Ugghhh nevermind….you won't listen and I doubt the logical readers who read this will believe you anyways.

Estelle: Oh….You want to do some plumbing? Well, I have some pipes that need cleaning.

Yuri: ….No amount of cleaning can clean those pipes…..

Seriously….

Leblanc: Yuri Looowell! We want your dick right now!

His dick is in another castle! RUN!

[Everyone swooped up in crowd]

WHO THE FUCK SPANKED ME?! I WILL KEEEEEEEELLL YOOOOUUUUU!

Estelle: *orgasming* AH! THERE! MORE! THERE!

Yuri: WHO THE HELL IS SQUEEZING MY ASS?! COME ON GUYS, WHOA! GAH HEY STOP DOING THAT! DO I LOOK LIKE A GIRL?! HEY!

Kairi: IYYYYYAAAAA! MY PRECIOUS VIRGIN BODY IS BEING VIOLATED AND DEFILED KAMISAMA!

[Out of crowd]

That was Hell….

Yuri: I think I might be covered in hickeys….

Kairi: I had food shoved in my boobs….

Estelle: It's over already? Pooh. I mean, that was dreadful!

Yuri: AAAHH!

Leblanc: *Squeezing Yuri's butt* GOT YOUR ASS!

Repede: *knocks him out*

Nope.

Yuri: Nice save Repede.

Repede: Woof! *smoke ring comes out of pipe*

Yuri: WHO PUT TOBACCO IN THERE?!

Who says it's gotta be tobacco? *sunglasses*

Estelle: *wiggles hips* OMG He's so FLUFFY~, I must have him~! I mean, cute dog.

Yuri: *twitches*

Kairi: She has no shame does she?

And no standards, though that would explain her obsession with Repede.

Repede: *stands on two legs* Bitch you can't have this! REPEDE JONES FUCKS NO MERE HUMAN!

Yuri: ! REPEDE?!

OMG SO COOL!

Kairi: Weren't we escaping?

Oh yeah, let's just skip that travelling inn, Estelle will just fuck Rich behind Karen's back or in front of Karen and get us banned for life anyways.

Yuri: What?

TO DEIDON HOLD!...Bye Yuri!

Yuri: Huh? What?

[Gate closes]

Yuri: WHAT THE FUCK?! SERIOUSLY?! *looks back and sees monster stampede heading this way* LET ME IN!

Password please or offer up something good in exchange~!

Yuri: I don't know!

Nope not close enough.

Yuri: SERIOUSLY YOU THREE OPEN THAT DOOR!

Fuck NO!

Yuri: …I have a stuffed cheagle doll that's here on the floor.

DEAL! [Magically whisks him in gate cause magic is magical magicallyness] IT'S SO PRECIOUS!

Yuri: Kairi why the hell are your hands bleeding?

Kairi: Ummmm…..uhhhhh….Bees?

Yuri: …Yeah cause…that makes sense…..

Kaufman: OMG! YOU WITH THE FABULOUS ASS COME WORK FOR ME!

Yuri: Fuck. No.

OMFG JUSTIN MAH MAN!

Yuri: HUH?!

Estelle: OMG DAT TAN! *panting* SO TASTY~!

Justin: YO! LET'S GO HANG OUT A BIT LIANA!

YEAHS! *leaves*

Yuri: What just happened?

Kairi: The beginning of an invasion?

Estelle: *chases* COME BACK WITH THAT MAN MEAT RIGHT NOW! I mean, don't run so fast!

Yuri: ….Why is she trying still?

Kairi: Beats me.

Kaufman: If you let me squeeze your ass I shall tell you of a new route.

Yuri: Just, no.

Kaufman: Fair enough, I'll take something of equal value then *squeezes Kairi's boobs* AH! Their smaller than mine, but soooooooo soft~! I'd pay 5 million gald for these! AH HOW I WANT THESE!

Kairi: HIIIIIIIIIIIII! DX B-BUT YOURS ARE BIGGER THAN MINEEEEEE!

Kaufman: Ah, I'm satisfied now, just go through the cursed woods to get to Halure~!

Kairi: Why me…*sniffles*

Yuri: And why are we trying to go to Halure again?

Kairi: Ummm, Flynn?

Yuri: Yeah, no one's said a thing to me about us going to Flynn or me even agreeing, you all kidnapped me from my cell and finding Flynn …that was what Estelle wanted ..…I just wanted to catch that damned Mordio.

Kairi: Well if you follow this journey you will definitely get to!

Yuri: Really?

Kairi: Mhm, it'll take time, but you can.

Yuri: You aren't lying to me right? You're like the only sane other person in this existence.

Kairi: I'm not lying, promise, cause I lo-lo-lost my earrings to that darned guy too!

Yuri: We'll GET THEM BACK!

Kairi: RIGHT!

OK, Talk's done, let's go to Quoi woods.

Yuri: Huh? Those cursed woods, why?

Cause I demand this plot get moving! NOW COME ON BEFORE THAT PINK WHORE CATCHES US!

Estelle: WAIT!

Too late….

[Poof to forest]

Estelle: OMG THIS IS THOSE CURSED WOODS RIGHT?! OMG NOOOO! I'LL BE IMPREGNATED!

Trust me nothing wants to impregnate you honey, let's go~!

Yuri: C'ya.

Kairi: Bai bai~!

Estelle: TAKE ME WITH YOU! Huh? Oh look Shininess!

What?

[Blastia activated, all incapacitated except Yuri]

Yuri: What just happened?

[AND THEY WERE NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN, JK]

Yuri: Here Repede, let this fat one sleep on you okay.

Repede: Fuck is wrong with you man? Putting all that weight on a poor dog, but I don't say no to them titties~!

Yuri: …Since when do you talk?

Repede: Since that nice old lady from the wheat mill gave me some crack this morning, deal with it man.

Yuri: …Right, just take this crazy one, the sane one gets to sleep on my lap.

Repede: What about that Pink MoFo?

Yuri: We'll leave her at the Blastia, hopefully she'll get lost.

Repede: AMEN! NOW MAKE US SOME SANDWICHES BITCH I'M HONGURY!

Yuri: …..

Estelle: OMG I SMELL SANDWICHES!

Yuri: FFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!

Karol: HEY CAN I JUMP INTO THE SHOT NOW?! CAN I?! CAN I?!

Yuri: …..Who are you?

AND CUT! KAROL YOU RUINED THE FILM! NOW WE GOTTA REDO!

Yuri: …..What?...

[Scene Quoi Woods CUT] The following is filmed before a live studio audience, laughter not included.

* * *

Ah, I'm so bored….and my college classes start in a month and a half, so the main fic needs to keep cracking as far as I can take it until school starts, then the major slow down time for chapters will begin.

*rolls around on bed* I wanna go play somewhere… (I wasn't allowed to gamble this 4rth of July because this time we took mommy dearest with us, mostly we never do take her to the casino unless we're gonna stay the night, and we watched the fireworks and then she wanted to go home…even my dad was disappointed not to play blackjack *sigh*….)


	5. 4: Becoming a God! (Ch 7-8)

Wow this one is late, those spray paintings I'm doing for presents are taking up my time. And college is coming…man things are gonna be slowing down big time.

Hurray for copy and paste!

Disclaimer: I don't not own Vesperia, Justin, Caryn, NPCS, RANDOM ANIME PHRASES, and endorsement deals that may or may not be shown.

I do have permission to use Justin and Caryn though Ehehehe

I do own myself, Kairi, and this fic….cause none if it is entirely following Vesperia protocol and I wouldn't call this work as it is, gimme some soda/energy drinks/sugary foods/and spam Gigantic OTN on the laptop~!

* * *

([Insert the most epic video here that suddenly fades into Quoi Woods, making you rage])

Karol: *randomly wearing his girl outfit*….Why am I in this?

Fanservice.

Karol: I don't get it.

Estelle: *grumbles* Impossible, he's better looking than me!

Yuri: SO, who are you?

Karol: *magical girl spin and pose* I AM KAROL, THE WARRIOR OF LOVE AND BEAUTY TEEHEE!

Yuri:…..

Karol:….The hell am I doing with my life?

Yuri:…I guess in a way that's ok…

Estelle: GASP! NO! THAT CAN'T BE YOUR TYPE CAN IT?! *writes in journal*

Yuri: Fuck no.

Repede: *knife and fork out* He looks tasty enough to eat though.

Yuri: DOWN BOY! DOWN!

Karol: Noooooooooo~

Kairi: Liana….this is becoming disturbing…

Hmmm Say Karol, can you wear this? *pulls out Nier Emil Cosplay*

Karol: How much you paying me?

2k gald, take it or leave it.

Karol: Deal. *magical transformation* Done!

You're forgetting one piece….*puts on Yoko Taro Emil head on Karol*

Karol: Huh? HEY! I can barely see! What's going on! HEY!

*hugs* OMG SO PRECIOUS!

Karol: …I need an Adult…

I am an Adult :D

Yuri: So what do we do?

TO KAMIKI VILLAGE! *teleport*

Karol: Huh? Kamiki, this is Halure though.

Not for long~

Kairi: I don't like where this is going…

Yuri: Me either…

So blah blah blah the tree is poisoned and we need a panacea bottle, let's go get an eggbear claw and nia fruit.

Yuri: Wha?

*puff of smoke**back in Quoi Woods*

Yuri: Weren't we just here 5 seconds ago?! What did that accomplish?!

Eggbear…

Yuri: Wha? *gets knocked into a tree* OW HEY! THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Eggbear…

Yuri: *turns around with sword* …..

Eggbear: *Pedobear* HI Kids~

Karol: SAVE ME!

Estelle: NOOooooo! I'll get pregnant!

Stop pretending to be innocent. Just admit you'd enjoy the Eggbear D.

Estelle: *blinks* Come to think of it, how big is it?

….You prove my point…

Eggbear: *licks lips* The long haired guy has a fabulous ass, but that little skeleton there's such a turn on!

OH HELLS TO THE NO! *yanks off claws* MY EMIL DX *snuggles Karol*

Karol: ….*squished in boobs* currnn I goo hoouummee naaoooo?...

Not while I'm paying you bitch.

Eggbear: But I just got a nail job ;w; *tries to run away, trips on a root, hits head on rock, nia fruit falls from random pocket, dies*

*grabs nia fruit* Wow….tragic….BACK TO KAMIKI!

[Batman sign spin]

*yanks luluria petals from Mayor*

Mayor: Those are my most prized possessions! COME BACK THEIF! *running in slow mo*

Meh, nothing to worry about *takes 5 steps away* I shall save this pitiful land and you shall honor me as a GOD! This CITY SHALL BE REBORN!

Yuri: Uh….

Kairi: That wasn't in the job description for this Liana…

I have a Death Note, beware~ *runs off dragging Yuri, who is grabbing Kairi, Who is grabbing Estelle, Who is grabbing Karol, who is grabbing Humanoid Repede in a train Wheeeeeeee*

*places all shet on the counter* PANACEA BOTTLE STAT BEFORE I SICK THE STD FILLED BITCH ON YOUR BALLS!

Store keeper: *White as a ghost* RIGHT AWAY!

Estelle: Hey! I can do really well with balls! I mean…what do you mean by that? *sparkly innocent eyes*

Yuri: *twitches*

Store guy that no one gives a damn about: DONE!

ABOUT TIME! LET'S GO! THAT OLD TIMER WILL BE GAINING ON US!

Yuri: *looks and see's mayor is barley reaching to the store in slow mo* …..I think we're goooogyaaahhhh! *dragged off again*

*pours damn bottle on tree**nothing happens*

Yuri: Huh? It didn't work?

No…*evil smirk* You gotta crush their hopes first then cure the damn thing to be a god!

Yuri: Huh?

*presses random button on Estelle's back* *dun dun dun Halure is saved!*

People: OMG HOW CAN WE THANK YOU?!

LISTEN UP YOU FOOLS! THIS TOWN SHALL BE KNOWN AS KAMIKI VILLAGE! THIS TREE IS THE SACRED PROTECTOR CALLED KONOHANA, IN WHICH RESIDES THE SPIRIT SAKUYA WHO SHALL GUARD AND PROTECT YOU SO LONG AS I, YOUR LORD AND GOD EXIST! AND I SHALL BE CALLED AMATERASU! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!

People: *bows* ALL HAIL AMATERASU!

*smiles* Now don't forget to offer up cherry cakes when a good deed happens or you shall be punished with lightning striking you down :D

People: *shivers*

Yuri: …The hell…

Oh look Mr. Flynn Scifo, your husbando and or waifu is here.

Yuri: What? *turns and spots Zagi* FUCK!

Escape time!

Mayor: *still running in slow mo up the hill*

…..Let's just walk past him…

Yuri: Yeah….

Estelle: Can't it wait? I need to give my address, phone number, and room number to these luscious men. I mean….I want to wait for Flynn…

Fuck No….

Yuri: Let's leave her…

Kairi: Seconded…

Karol: Yeah….I'll back that up…

Estelle: So mean!

And while we're at it, let's raid the mayor's fridge, I'm starving!

Yuri: …..

* * *

No seriously I'm hungry now ;w; dunno when we'll be able to celebrate me, my mom, and my dad's birthday, but even so I can't expect cake. Got a drabble to write, get on with the next Operation chapter, then another of these lolz...so much to do and the college will add more to the list...


	6. 5: PMSing shet (Ch 9-10)

Dayum….I get these done faster than the chapters :P mainly cause it's fun rather than following a serious plot or storyline :P

Disclaimer: I don't not own Vesperia, Justin, Caryn, NPCS, RANDOM ANIME PHRASES, MUSIC, and endorsement deals that may or may not be shown.

I do have permission to use Justin and Caryn though, they're my bitches :D

I do own myself, Kairi, and this fic….cause none if it is entirely following Vesperia protocol and I wouldn't call this work as it is, just a bunch of lunacy on sugar (not crack sorry XD)

* * *

Guys, lets stop here….

Yuri: Huh? Why?

CAUSE I GOT MAH FUCKING PERIOD! THAT'S WHY! I'm gonna go shower peeps! SEE YA!

Yuri: The fuck…

Kairi: …Do I really have to explain?...

Yuri: DON'T…

Kairi: Thanks…Oh and Karol.

Karol: What is it?

Kairi: We're aliens.

Karol: AHDHSGDSGDJHYDHGSJHDKGFHSDHKIGDYIWSFBK!

[Insert lame ass intro video here]

Kairi: *pulling Yuri's hair* PUT THE CLOVER ON!

Yuri: HELL NO! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LOST IN MY HAIR THAT THING WILL GET?! AND AREN'T YOU THE DAMN SANE ONE?!

Kairi: ….True *lets go of hair*

Hey guys! Back! Let's get going to the absolutely nonsuspicious cave in the distance over there?

Yuri: Huh?

*poof to entrance cause I'm too fat ass and lazy to walk there!* Tadah! Can we go in nao?

Knights: Fuck no.

Estelle: *drools* They look so nummy~! *rubs up on his armor*

Knight: *panics* HOLY SHET! TAKE THE BACK DOOR! JUST TAKE HER AWAY! PLEASE!

You've learned a valuable lesson, but feel free to take her for free :D *runs off to back door*

Estelle: DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND DX

*yanks open door* The party don't start till I walk in~ *no response* Fuck you all.

Yuri: Wasn't it supposed to be locked?

Who gives a shit, we're in.

Ferghus: Any weapons for me to repair?

Yuri: Huh? You repair weapons?

FUCK NO! IT'S NOT A 100% REPAIR DAY! YOU AIN'T TAKING MY PRECIOUS SHEEPS! *grabs others and runs ahead*

Ferghus: WEAPON REPAIRS! YOU MUST TAKE THEM TO ME!

Yuri: What was that about?

Nothing of pure importance.

Kairi: Though that does explain why he said he had plenty of other business after Tara said it wouldn't do business with him anymore….

Estelle: Couldn't I have at least had a moment to feel his arms?

….Feel free to go back…Oh look, Rita's house!

Yuri: Rita?

Kairi: Rita Mordio.

Yuri: Mordio?! And how do you know this?

Because we're fucking psychic you 4rth wall breaking bitch, don't act like you don't know.

Yuri: Fuck off.

Karol: So we gonna break in or not?

Yep, just avoid her dresser with her dildo unless you want nightmares.

Estelle: WHERE?! *pants like a dog*

…..Ain't tell you.

Rita: So, who the fucks are you people?

No one gives a damn, let's just go to Shaikos so you can learn about your precious, and don't smack the Emils.

Karol: My name is Karol though D:

5k gald to be Emil :3

Karol: Done, I'm Emil.

Rita: Really?!...Uh I mean, like I believe you people at all….*fidget towards door*

Ah, Tsunderes are cute. Now let's go clear your name, Mordio :D

Yuri: Huh?!

[puff of smoke, at Goliath cause no one gives a damn about Flynn anymore at this point, the blastia's are all broken, and tutorials SUCK ASS!]

Yuri: Where did I get this ring?

Rita: F-From No ONE! *turns away*

Kairi: *jealousy pouts*

If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it~ *singing*

Yuri: I'mma throw it away then *tries to pull off ring* THE FUCK! IT WON'T COME OFF!

Plot devices demand you keep it Yuri :P

Estelle: Why couldn't I have the ring D: ?

Rita: *turns red* Cause your hot whore ass doesn't deserve it *turns away*

Ristelle FTW :P

Rita: R-R-RISTELLE?!

Estelle: It's not what I'm use to~, but *licks lips, yes she was singing that*

….and an OTP is destroyed….

Repede: Hey who's that MoFo upstairs? Can I eat him?

Go nuts :D

Yuri: HEY WAIT! YOU CAN'T EAT HIM, HE TELLS US WHERE TO GO NEXT DOESN'T HE?!

STOP BREAKING THE 4rth WALL BITCH!

Yuri: WHO'S BREAKING THE 4RTH WALL FIRST YOU PMSING CRACKHEAD?!

Guy from deh plot with no name: Damn, the popo caught up to me, wonder what this does *activates Goliath* I DIDN'T DO IT! *Runs away*

Yuri: Well shit…what now?

We call Nao when we die, that's what :D now let us engage in a boss battle

Yuri: LIANA!

* * *

ZOMG CLIFFHANGERS…..nah just too damn lazy to make this go past chapter boundaries :D


	7. 6: Fuck Logic! Literally (Ch 11-12)

Huzzah, finally got a new crack up….although can I call it crack…I don't do crack….and I'm not allowed Sugar ;w;

Disclaimer: I don't not own Vesperia, Justin, Caryn, NPCS, RANDOM ANIME PHRASES, MUSIC, and endorsement deals that may or may not be shown.

I do have permission to use Justin and Caryn though, they're my bitches :D

I do own myself, Kairi, and this fic….cause none if it is entirely following Vesperia protocol and I wouldn't call this work as it is…although….It's the New Year, my mother has me on a diet….so these are no longer sugar induced…..which makes it so hard to write T-T so I call this WORK! *sobs*

* * *

Goliath: *moving around with his dick all floppy*

It's supposed to be erect….That's so wrong….ESTELLE! Inflate it!

Estelle: YES!

Everyone else: NO!

B-But it's just….wagging in our faces!

Estelle: It's so huge~ *moans* I don't think it'll fit in my mouth more so my-

Yuri: Keep it clean you two! WE HAVE CHILDREN PRESENT!

You tell him to be clean! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT WITH THAT DICK IN MAH FACE?!

Estelle: *flies by after Goliath smacks her with his dick* Ahhhhnnnn, so rough….*starry rape eyes* I DIDN'T KNOW HE LIKED IT ROUGH!

Yuri: Kids….Advert your eyes….

Kairi: It's about to get R rated…

Rita and Karol: *pretend to cover their eyes, but peak through fingers*

[Intermission while Estelle somehow transcends the logic and dynamics of physics and fucks Goliath into submission]

Yuri: …How did she even….?

Kairi: …*mutters* So would Yuri like it like that? Or some other position? Maybe somehow involving my breasts...

Estelle: What…already done….but it wasn't enough D:

Down bitch, we got that weird ass mofo that ran off to catch, you can have him after we're done interrogating.

Yuri: Right! Let's go get him and take back the aqua blastia!

Sponge Bob Narrator: A few moments later.

Random mage guy: Sorry, your aqua blastia is in another dungeon.

Yuri: FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[Video statics as Yuri fucking broke the damn camera with his sheer cry of rage alone, please wait, our mechanics will bring you back to the program shortly]

[Commercial with Ferghus: WEAPON REPAIRS! YOU MUST BRING THEM TO ME! Now including a 100% repair rate fix at 4,567% the original price, because extortion WORKS!]

[Camera back to the future where everyone is on with their happy lives, including pairing spoilers of- scene cuts off back to the group in Aspio]

*tackles Yuri* Fuck, he makes a good pillow…

Yuri: I AIN'T NO DAMN PILLOW!

*pinches chest* This squishy water pillow says other wise~

Kairi: *pouty*

Yuri: Fuck, now I gotta exercise….

Rita: WTF Get a room you two!

Don't want to Zzzzzzz

Yuri: Isn't this the part where you deny it?

Fuck it, let them think we're banging each other, Kairi can get uber jealous and Estelle may leave you alone.

Yuri: Fair enough…

Alright enough resting. Lets just set up camp to head for Harbor 1.

Yuri: Isn't is Nor Har-

Harbor 1. I give no shets, that place is so fucked up anyways, always some problem happening for those people.

[Magically warped to the field with a camp all set and fancy ass food served, cause cooking takes too much effort! Who the fuck invented cooking anyways! *nom nom*]

Morning now! Time to go to Halure then to Harbor 1! *puff of smoke in front of the Mayor's house*

Mayor: You're the people who raided my damn fridge! Get off my property!

Rita: I don't give a thot about you, I'mma go look at the blastia cause…..blastia…*leaves*

Yuri: I'll go get her.

Nah give it a second.

Rita: *poofs back to the front* WTF!

Plot demands you stay here, now look, it's the Gay Fish and Perverted Midget!

Gay Fish: I am not a Gay Fish, I say!

Pervit: Nor am I a perverted midget!

Not according to the text in this fiction with your names.

Gay Fish and Pervit: FFFFUUUUUUUUUU-

*We all kick their asses before they break the damn camera*

Leblanc: My men! How dares joo!

Yuri: Not our fault they're so damn weak.

Good, now protect us, cause we gotta go on the run.

Leblanc: What?

Yuri: We do?

Knife…

Yuri: What?

Kairi: Yuri! RUN! *Dragging Yuri before the Red Eye's knives cut off his LUXURIOUS DELICIOUS SPARKLY ASS HAIR!*

Yuri: WHOA! Thanks!

Estelle: Wait for me! I still need to bang Flyn- I mean catch up with Flynn! *runs*

Rita: HOLD ON! YOU'RE RUNNING OFF WITH MY PINK BIT-I MEAN RESEARCH SUBJECT! *runs*

Karol: How much will you pay me….?

Hmmmm, 200 gald…

Karol: Fair enough….GYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! *runs*

*puts on Deal with It shades, walking out of Halure like a boss while Leblanc proceeds to be blown up which kills all the red eyes, but he survives cause he's a fucking IMMORTAL!*

* * *

Meh, I don't think I did…too…badly…..ok it sucks, but come on, I need my sugar ;w; the sugar I can't have T-T


	8. 7: Everything is broken! (Ch 13-14)

This is a parody release, support Akira Toriyama!

Kairi: Uhm… Liana, wrong disclaimer…

Really?... Why do we even need a disclaimer? I figured everyone knows what I own and what I don't by now! It should be obvious when uploading any fanfiction that I don't own it! IS IT EVEN REQUIRED?! SOMEONE GIVE ME THE CHEAT CODES! GET ME SOME SODA AND HOT CHEETOS WHILE YOUR AT IT TOO!

Disclaimer: I don't not own Vesperia, Justin, Caryn, NPCS, RANDOM ANIME PHRASES, MUSIC, and endorsement deals that may or may not be shown.

I do have permission to use Justin and Caryn though, so don't complain you two… you signed a contract.

Justin/Caryn: We did? Fuck…

* * *

Cool guys don't look at explosions~

Karol: … What are you singing?

Some random Earthian nonsense~

Kairi: Earthian… *blush*

Oh yeah, dat bedroom scene ;D

Yuri: What are you two talking about?

Interesting in Yaoi, Yuri? How bizarre, I thought you'd be more interested in Yu-

Rita: YURITA!

Don't you mean 'EUREKA'?

Rita: You two are aliens!

[Crickets sound in awkward silence]

[resume video at Ehmead]

Karol: SOME FUCKING FLYING UNICORN DESTROYED THE BLASTIA WITH MAGICAL SPARKLY FARTS! AND THEN JUST SWOOSHED HIS HAIR LIKE SOME PORN STAR AFTER THIS PYRAMID HEAD SQUEEZED HIS ASS AND FLEW OFF ON AN INVERTED RAINBOW!

Repede… why you stone mah boy D:?!

Repede: Not mah problem homie can't handle the fumes.

Rita: *snuggling the blastia* MY PRECIOUS!

…You breathed on Rita too….AWESOME! GIMME SOME!

Yuri/Kairi: NO!

Estelle; *Smoking a pipe of her own* Youz all need to chill, just has some, iz good for youz.

Yuri: Repede… stop stoning everyone.

Repede: Why you being such a pussy man?! We use to have good old days, smoking weed in the back porch with all them slutty ass stray cats shaking their-

Yuri: That never happened!

Repede: … Not to you anyways *puffs out smoke*

Knight A: It's that guy on the wanted poster!

Knight B: OMG his ass is even more delicious in person~!

Yuri: Running now! *abandons everyone*

Kairi: Wait for me! Wait for me! *runs after him*

Yeah! Hold up! WE ALL STILL NEED TO FIGHT DOGGO!

Yuri: Wha-?

Gattuso: Yo no habla espanol, senor!

Yuri: …What is this?

Repede: Yo! MAH MAN! WANNA CHILL A WHILE?! I GOT THE GOOD STUFFZ!

Gattuso: SI!

Kairi: *Murders Gatuso with lightning rod cause….why not?*

Gattuso: Merde! *dies*

Let's sneak past them to the Harbor before we get all romance and sappy, and orgies go on everywere…

Kairi: Seconded.

Yuri: Third, if it'll get all these assholes off my back.

Estelle: HEY! REPEDE! GIVE ME SOME MORE! I'M OUT HERE TOO!

[poof in the harbor]

And they were never heard from again…

Yuri: No….they're still here…*staring at everyone on the ground completely stoned*

Oh hey look, Red Eyes…

Yuri: WHAT?!

Kairi: Atchoo!

Oooo, I got some sadistic soup to make for you~

Kairi: N-No….!

Red Eyes: So… can we kill you yet, or not?

Nope, not in the contract…

Yuri: WHAT?!

Red Eyes: Awww *leaves*

Flynn: Yuri! You're under arrest for s-…Wha…

Yet another annoying character joins us…huzzah…

Flynn: ….

….I think he's broken…

Flynn: *walks over* *kneels in front of Kairi* Please forgive my abrupt behavior my lady! But I must ask! *grabs hand* Please consider going out with me formally!

Kairi: … What?

Yuri: WHAT?!

Caryn: WHAT!? KAIRI GODAMN IT, STOP BEING SO DAMN SEXY AND STEALING FLYNN!

MY BITCH! *tackles*

Caryn: Fuck off whore! I got beef with Kairi right now!

Kairi: ;w; b-but I don't even want Flynn…

Flynn: *puppy eyed frown*

Yuri: …. WHAT?!

FUCK! YURI'S BROKEN! INTERMISSION TIME!

[insert a commercial here, I don't care if it's for ass crabs, just put something here!]

[back in the inn]

Estelle: *smoking pipe* I told mah man here everything bitches, got a problem with that?

…I am so gonna find a way to murder you…

Yuri: …Uh… she's kinda the main heroine, so can you keep the murder till games end?

Deal.

Estelle: Fuck youz two, I'mma go bang Flynn nowz.

Flynn: What…?

Sodia/Caryn: TOUCH MY MAN AND WE'RE GONNA FUCK YOU UP!

Hold the phone guys, I'mma go get me some popcorn for this… *comes back with popcorn to watch the three-way catfight*

Kairi: … So, guess we just sleep in and then Ragou tomorrow with or without Estelle?

Yuri: Sure. Atchoo!

Everyone: Dude…not cool.

I'll get the sadistic soup ready!

Yuri/Kairi: NO! *running*

Sponge bob narrator: The next day

Kairi: Fohfdsjlfhruighjfnbvxbnkljfhnkdv ….*faints*

Yuri: Well fuck….guess it's just me, Liana, Karol, and Rita going to Ragou's…

Estelle: *in crutches* I'm coming too!

Yuri: Uh…why?

Estelle: So I can bang you once you get your dick back.

Yuri:… Remind me to join you in that murder plan…

Deal, now let's go get Rhybgaro!

Yuri: Rhybgaro?

CAUSE WHY THE FUCK ARE WE GONNA WALK ALL THE WAY TO THE MANSION TO JUST HEAR THEM SAY NO! LET'S GO GET THAT DAMN HORN!

Yuri: It's a plan, I guess…

Rita: I didn't agree to come though!

Weather Blastia~

Rita: I'M IN!

Karol: …. So, do I get paid?

I'll give you a bag of the AG if you know my meaning *winks*

Karol: Deal!

Repede: Just gimme something to smoke and I'm game.

YUSH! PARTY IS ASSEMBLED LETS GO!...Oh and Caryn…Keep Flynn from Molesting Kairi in her sleep.

Caryn: Oh don't worry…I will *glaring at Flynn hiding behind the door in a jealous lover manner*

Yuri: …Seriously…what have you done with my life?

*looks innocent* I did nothing….it was my Facebook friend's fault for making me do those stupid memes to inspire all this.

Yuri: Damn you, internet…you're scary.

* * *

Another down… lack of sugar leads to not as much fun, this may end up being scrapped...may not...I gotta see D: Wondering what the AG is…it's Apple Gels, what other drugs can you possibly give to him that'd be effective XD? Other than that…I got get back to the main story yayz :3

But I got a Writing Accuplacer to take tomorrow...not looking forward to that...


	9. Authors Note

**AUTHORS NOTE:** This story is **NOT** dead… just on a severe hiatus until the Main Story is done :D (It's hard to divide my attention to 3 different stories even if they're all intertwined XD)! Also…. I'm out of SUGAR D: my usually beyond reason nuttiness requires a sugar rush XD to which… I'm having to withdraw from due to my parents panicking thinking I'll get Diabetes with a single lollipop XD LOLZ Any who…. Yeah, that's it :D HIATUS! Feel free to keep with the main story, fillers (Eventually) and the drabbles in the mean time…. Cause they will NOT help you with this crack version XD LOLZ


End file.
